Chick Magnet

It’s called a SYM. Apparently it’s one of the best mopeds out there in the market that can deal with the salty Hawaiian air.

And got one I did.

I even have a ritual. I put on my sunglasses and emerge from my garage like Batman. It’s all really dramatic and God… I’m so cool. And that was what I thought until today.

It’s a painful realization but mopeds are really lame. Even when you sit on the back seat so your arms can fully extend. Even when you smoke a cigarette at red lights. EVEN if you wear aviators and never smile.

$700 later, the realization hits me when I’m going uphill and notice an acquaintance walking to class. I don't know what to say about these 50cc engines (if you need a reference think of Mario Kart-Mushroom Level). I notice her from a distance, give her a nod, and try to zoom passed her so her skirt flies up. Instead I notice my moped giving me everything it has at 15mph. She hesitates and politely responds with a smile as I continue at 15mph. I wonder if she thinks I’m slowing down to say hello because there must be no way that this machine would be designed to be so pathetic.

Little does she know that I had that accelerator twisted all the way, desperate for my bike to reach for some i-think-can motivation. I'm there long enough to see the smile leave her face as I finally pass her at 15mph.

It also doesn’t help that the engines sound like a kazoo.